Thursday, August 30, 2007

Fulmer Cup: Winner Announced!

This years Fulmer Cup (named for the felonious over-achievements of University of Tennessee football players under the tutelage of Coach Philip Fulmer) has been awarded to the University of Illinois, with a score of 24 points. State Penn, which seemed to have developed an insurm0untable lead as a result of the spring brawl, ultimately landed in second place with 19 points as charges were slowly dropped. Florida and Idaho tied for third place with 17 points, and Michigan rounded out the top 5 with 15.

The win by Illinois came as a result of the intramural residential burglary and theft activities of Wide Receivers Jody Ellis and Derrick McPhearson. Individual honors, represented by the Ellis T. Jones Award Golden Taser for Individual Achievement (Mr. Jones, of San Diego State scored 31 points by himself in 2006) went to Ronnie Wilson of Florida, who livened up a visit to a club back in April by breaking out his automatic weapon.

Ummm. . .Congratulations????

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